What is new is old.

I often find my self in this destructive rut in my life making decisions with out properly weighing the consequences. Accepting of what is given to me with out thought or reason.

Looking from the outside in you could say that the last 6 months have been destructive in my life. The reality of it is that it has been everything but. For the first time in years I am able to see a future and be able to find steady ground. No more tip toeing around in fear of how people thought about me or worrying about having family or friends.

I’ll be the first to admit that the future scares me. So many feelings shared and yet to be shared. But the first time in years I can say that there’s true hope in my life.

Hope that I will be able to see the life we should have lived from 2012. I don’t know what the future is going to hold or even the rest of the year. But I can tell you for the first time in years I feel like smiling. Being able to feel this love that she gives me has created a spot in my heart for her for the rest of my life.

You are the love of my life, You always were. Thank you for helping me understand that.

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